Category:10 Things you need to know about playing Call of Cthulhu

Call of Cthulhu investigators have an average life span only half that of the nation at large. Their careers are short because many of them don’t begin exploring the mythos until later in life, and then those developing careers are abbreviated as the result of psychological casualties or death by misadventure. Such deaths are largely preventable by following some simple rules.

1) KEEP IT SECRET

“Opinions were divided as to notifying the Massachusetts State Police, and the negative finally won.”

H. P. Lovecraft, “The Dunwich Horror.”

The most deadly threat posed by the Cthulhu Mythos is knowledge of its arcane science, creatures, and locales. Always remain close-mouthed about your activities. It’s often better not to bother with a cover story, since professional seekers- after-truth make indifferent liars.

In general, authorities should not be notified of a Cthulhoid menace’s presence unless catastrophe looms. Police, federal agents, and the National Guard are unprepared to deal with the preternatural, and their participation in a dangerous investigation is rarely helpful. Secretiveness is not for selfish purposes it can save lives. The same applies to local help, who must often be hired to complete an investigation. Of course, secrecy can be carried too far a man who has lost a family member to a Cthulhu monster has earned the right to know the truth.

Another reason for sealed lips is preventative. Widespread knowledge of paranormal techniques would change our world irrevocably. A crackpot with a grudge could whistle up Azathoth and wipe out a state. To obtain Glaaki’s hideous reward of near-immortality, hundreds of terminally-diseased folk might flock to join his service. A misguided government agency might attempt to utilize Ghatanothoa as a military asset. Worse scenarios are easy to imagine. Some scholars also believe that many authorities may be pawns of the foul Cthulhoid monsters such as the mi-go, etc., and are not trustworthy.

By confining knowledge of arcane horrors, a handful of dedicated scholars can work to avoid the worst horrors, advance the cause of science, and protect not only humanity but also the dreams of humanity.

2) STAY TOGETHER

“Even though you’re a vampire, you’re still my brother.”

The Lost Boys.

This tidbit of advice is two-part: first, never operate alone if you can possibly avoid it; second, stick with your partners. While many great Mythos discoveries have been made by intrepid explorers working alone, it is equally true that most of these solitary scholars subsequently came to bad ends. Emulate their skills and their values, not their solitude. Peter Dannseys, the noted metaphysician, gives a cautionary account of the parapsychologist L. Svedin who, with sev- eral aides, ended his career while investigating cattle mutilations. Correctly suspecting a nearby mineshaft, Svedin sent a hired hand into the shaft while he and the others performed a bovine autopsy. When the hired man did not return, he sent two aides after the man. They, in turn, vanished. Svedin sent a dozen men into the shaft in twos and threes before plunging in with the rest of his team, never to be seen again. Some years later, Dr. Dannseys discovered that the mineshaft housed a rather nasty parasitic being. The shaft originally held only a single parasite, who captured the hired hand and transformed him into a being like itself. When Svedin sent in his aides, the parasites transformed them as well. When Svedin finally braved the shaft with his remaining inves- tigators, nearly twenty parasites awaited him. If Svedin had initially penetrated the cave in force, he would have easily overpowered the parasite. By frittering away his strength, he became an accomplice to a great tragedy in parapsychological history.

3) ACT IN HASTE, REPENT AT LEISURE

“Then we’ll turn it up hotter and burn up the ashes.” Return of the Living Dead.

Enormous grief stems from the crime of acting before thinking. In one case a team dis- covered that an enormous clay plaque was connected with a particularly obnoxious manifestation of Nyarlathotep. Suddenly confronted by a hissing swarm of supernat- ural locusts, they instinctively reacted by shattering the plaque. Alas, the plaque actually held the chant for dismissing the aforementioned manifestation. Shattering it elim- inated all hope. The entire team was killed or hospitalized, and the manifestation con- tinues to this day. Anyone knowing of a 12th Dynasty spell for the dismissal of the Bringer of Pests is invited to contact Dr. Ratsegg c/o the Department of Oriental Antiquities at Miskatonic University. Such tales should give pause. Before doing something irrevocable, make sure you have no other choice.

4) ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN

''“. . . Lancelot, Galahad, and I leap out of the rabbit. . . .”''

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Even a bad plan is better than no plan at all. While a bad plan may get everyone killed or turned insane, the lack of a plan always will. In contrast, Mythos monsters usually operate with very clear goals. In one sad case, a group of scholars accidentally created a dimensional Gate to a hideous alien reality. One of the scholars entered the Gate without any plan of return. Presumably he’s there yet. His friends wish him luck, and periodically send sandwiches and beer through the Gate, hoping that they reach him. Somehow. When investigating a Cthulhoid manifestation, every member of the team should have a clear idea of what will be expected of him during the investigation. If possible, a backup plan should also be available. Have an idea of what to do if the only members with guns disappear. If one member of the team is especially important to the success of the investigation, make sure he is safe at all times don’t leave him alone in the cellar, don’t take a nap while he reads some strange awful book, and don’t let him experiment with strange talismans alone.

5) SCOUT IT OUT

“Does this house have a basement?”

Re Animator.

Before risking an encounter, make sure someone has scouted the area. This need not take the form of sending in commandos; doing a bit of research into local history can be quite effective. Careful survey of all the evidence is vital. Remember: knowledge is power. One of the surest ways to be killed by monsters is to run into their lair with no information about possible escapes, numbers of monsters, and other such vital knowledge.

6) GUNS ARE A LAST RESORT

“What’re we supposed to use, harsh language?”

Aliens.

A firearm is a useful tool, handy in opening jammed locks, an excellent way to signal a comrade, and able to attract the attention of local authorities. When confronted with unruly locals, nonchalant display of a firearm can often effect quick cooperation. A gun has a wide assortment of uses. No investigative team should be without one. Many investigators mistakenly assume that guns can defend against preternatural entities. This is a serious error. Firearms are designed to kill or wound humans and other native Earth life. No reasonable person would expect much effect against entities from other worlds, other realities, or other geologic time periods. Undisciplined use of guns as weapons leads to unfortunate accidents, an unscientific regard for violence as the answer to problems, and even to possible jail terms. A gun should be the last resort of the successful investigator.

7) KNOW YOUR ENEMY

''“I want to measure the bite marks. Maybe we can find out what we’re dealing with here.”''

Creepshow.

Use all forms of media as research tools. Books, movies, and television news can all give clues and information about the weaknesses, powers, and whereabouts of the enemy. Know the sign of the vampire, the werewolf, the deep one hybrid, and others. At the same time, do not expect that something which worked on the late show will work against Cthulhoid monsters. Always keep an open mind with regards to the Mythos.

8) THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM

''“I never drink. . . wine.”''

Dracula.

Some entities are not distinguishable as powerful monsters, or even as monsters at all. Is that three-foot-tall insectoid really an avatar of Nyarlathotep? Is your next door neighbor who spends so much time in his swimming pool actually a deep one? When dealing with the Mythos, assume that what you encounter is powerful. That’s just play- ing it safe and smart. Keep your eyes and ears open. Ronno Meeb relates a time when a friend he thought dead came knocking at his door. Some of his companions were overjoyed at seeing the friend again and invited him inside. When he claimed that he was thirsty, Professor Meeb responded slyly, “How about your favorite, an ice-cold glass of turpentine?” When he responded that turpentine would be delicious, the rest of the group pulled out guns and blew him to pieces. The fluid flowing from his veins was, luckily, fluorescent yellow, not red.

Many monsters are expert at fitting into human society. Beware especially the effect that Mythos monsters can have on their weak-minded human servants. Almost anyone could be a worshiper of the Great Old Ones.

9) NEVER GIVE UP

“Sometimes on the very brink of certainty, I failed; yet still I clung to the hope which the next day or the next hour might realize.”

Mary Shelley, Frankenstein.

Inexperienced investigators commonly give up when it appears that victory is impossi- ble. Dedicated scholars never cease action, no matter how hopeless matters seem. Never overlook the obvious; recheck your data; do more research. If things still look bleak, try random approaches to defeating the menace. No matter how bad it seems, it can get much worse if you give up. Don’t go poking sticks into wasps’ nests unless you are prepared to finish the job. Our brothers and sisters in arms are all that stand between Earth and the sinister designs of the Cthulhu Mythos. Take heart in the fact that the perils and sacrifices of today may make a better world for future generations of the human race!

10) BE PREPARED

“Normal folks, they don’t spit up bullets when you shoot ’em!”

Near Dark.

This goes much further than just bringing along extra rope when spelunking. Before starting an expedition, do research on the subject. Find out any legends about the area which may give helpful clues. With access to ancient tomes of magical spells, a partic- ular cantrip may be useful in your investigation. When reading to learn how to confront a beasty, consider the hardware needed. Take anything which sounds even remotely useful, but does not burden or impede movement. In most cases, assume that you can never have enough stuff. Who knows what might come in handy when facing the Mythos?